me: i’m fine
internally: *the tunnel scene from willy wonka*
(via hotboyproblems)
god this feels like im being chased by a serial killer with a fucking boombox blaring this
(Source: spynda, via peachdoxie)
Decorate your house with Rorschach tests, so if someone doesn’t like your interior design, it’s their own problem
(Source: reddit.com)
me, using a ouija board: A… L… I… V… E…
friend: alive? ALIVE?? is it saying it’s alive????
me: idk i’ll keep going
me: S.. T.. A.. Y.. I.. N… A.. L.. I.. V.. E..
friend:
me: shit this is a Bee Gee board
(Source: wakeupontheprongssideofthebed, via spectralfeather)
“no homo” I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
This joke is lethal
(via vodkaauntsatan)
horse ppl r so wild my horse friend was like “this is jenny shes the gentlest horse around shes so chill” and then jenny the horse immediately gave her a concussion
(via vodkaauntsatan)
DIY shingles
like the disease or the roof tiles
whatever
(via friesjpeg)
god put me on this world and said “let this dumbass roam”
We are all gods roombas that he’s let loose
(via vodkaauntsatan)
(via friesjpeg)